Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
