I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
