My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
