Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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