Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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