My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
