Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
