I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
