Just cropdusted the office
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
