Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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