Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
