I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
