Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize