Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
