Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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