We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
