pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
