My liver just broke up with me...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize