do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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