tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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