First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
