I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
