then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
