i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
