Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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