Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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