he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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