If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize