So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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