The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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