you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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