speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
