gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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