do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was born a porn star she said
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
