I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
