Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
