I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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