Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
