I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
