D3 body, D1 cock
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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