I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
