She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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