if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
