Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
