Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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