The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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