Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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