I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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