Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
