gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
