She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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