I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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