i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
