I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
