Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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