i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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