I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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