i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i barfeds in our rink
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
