so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
