True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
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dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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