I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
