You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
