so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
