I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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