apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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