I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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