I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize