Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
