We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
